"So how did it all start, when did I know? Apparently as a young child I used to communicate with spirit but was in a house where no one else really understood what was going on and just presumed it was my imagination. Because of this my “gift” became a fear; I can’t remember how or why. It was only when I was older that my parents were talking about my behaviour as a child and at how convinced I was that I had spoken to this woman in my room. It was only when they spoke to other people in the row of houses we lived in that they thought there was probably more to it than my imagination. Our adjoining neighbour had told my dad he had seen the ghost of a woman not long after she passed away. Maybe it was this reason or just not knowing what to say that it was never really explained that what was happening was ok; they had no way to reassure me and tell me everything was ok. I have no memory of what happened when I was a small child; I only ever felt fear.
Once older I often picked up on negative energy in the house or when I met people, for some strange reason I just didn’t like people. There were places I felt safe but others I wanted to leave. Again I never really understood why I felt the way I did. Over time this became more heightened of just knowing things; when I think back I can remember being about 7 and knowing a specific person would walk in the room. For many years I would think something and it would happen I would always put it down to coincidence. I had one situation when I thought I had seen spirit but there was always a potential of a rational explanation, until I jumped over a spirit dog sat on the top of the stairs. It was so real I thought it was their actual dog only to walk into a room and the real one was there. All these things were going on and I had nobody to ask what was happening so I would dismiss it.
I eventually moved away from home and it was then that things started to fall into place. There was me thinking I was giving everything up to move miles away from everything I had ever known, to end up meeting people that would make everything so much clearer and make me realise what was going on with me. Things started to heat up with spirit waking me up at night but in my moment of not being sure I would mostly just know something was there. Then I started having very weird dreams. It just so happened that someone where I worked was into all things spiritual and the more strange things became I started to ask her questions. I trusted I could speak to her without judgement or any one thinking I was completely mad. I found knowing such a reassurance and knowing she experienced the same things really made all the difference. She taught me to have more control and about chakras and astral travelling. I instantly felt more in control and was happy for things to be happening.
Then the huge turning point was falling pregnant, when I met a wonderful person who plucked up the courage to tell me that she had grown up knowing about spirit and knew how to recognise they were there etc. This person and her amazing mum could answer even more questions and were the reason for me first sitting in circle and trying to decipher what was going on with me. Most importantly to lose being fearful. With trust and faith in the people around me I found that this became an enjoyable experience now that I had control and had learned how to be grounded and protected. For so long I had been so open not really knowing and took on negative energy that drained me. I can now protect myself but not switch it off completely so that I can’t be empathetic to others especially when they are in need.
Never would I have thought that I would stand and give someone a message but that came with support from some fantastic people, and because of them I realised that feeling was a huge part of this work; I had always felt inadequate as I couldn’t see. I have gained some amazingly great friends that have grown together and we all have different things to bring to the group; there are no egos just huge pride in everything we do and achieve. Most importantly I know how to handle any situations with my own children so they don’t go through the same experience as me. I don’t put anything into their heads but if anything is ever mentioned I listen, let them speak and never dismiss what they are saying. What a journey it has been so far, I'm looking forward to more."