Thursday, 24 September 2015

Off Kilter Lunacy

Note from Witch Hazel.  This is not my usual blog post.  I am not trying to teach you anything, but I have chosen to share one of my less upbeat moments with you.  There's no bad language, it's nothing like that.  I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head and wanted to share them in case you are feeling the effects of this "Blood Moon" and tetrad that is coming at the weekend.  If you wanted to skip this one, I won't be offended, and normal service should resume in a few days.  However if your curiosity has got the better of you, then welcome to my world...

Do you ever feel like you're not really you?  Like someone stole your skin, invaded your body, and you're looking out of a stranger's eyes?  I'm sure everyone feels like this sometimes.  I hope so.

This is day four of a headache for me.  Someone apparently crept up on me while I slept and stabbed me again and again in the skull, their spike piercing the bone above my left eye and splintering my brain as it comes up against the back of my head by my brain stem.  Movement brings on pain so bad I feel like crying, and as the day goes on I break my own rule and swallow down painkillers.  It was more of a guideline anyway.  It doesn't help the nausea.

On Monday I thought it was because my moontime had returned; don't ask, long story.  Then I heard we were due storms, which always gives me headaches, but then Tuesday dawns just as bright and sunny as any other day in the Californian desert and that excuse vanished.  Finally a post in a Facebook group warned some people may be experiencing symptoms brought on by the upcoming lunar eclipse and tetrad, and my heart sank. Of course this is an energy headache, and if I wasn't so addled I should have been aware of that from the start.

Photo by R Warnett
We get the word "lunacy" from the belief that the moon makes us mad. Show me a witch for whom this isn't true and I'll show you someone hiding their true self.  I always tell clients and students alike that the full moon often brings on disturbed sleep and dreams that are more vivid, more real, so make a note of them because they are more likely to be remembered, yet though I know I have dreamt the most vibrant and important dreams these past few nights, they slip away like mist as I wake.

I am not an empath.  I am empathic, but I don't take on the emotions of those around me.  If you are so blessed/cursed I really do feel for you right now, because my own thoughts and emotions make me want to howl at the moon; I could not bear to feel as others feel as well.

Some of you may yet feel like your brain is not your own right now.  This is ok.  Sometimes you must accept that you are off kilter and make allowances.  Of course the muggle world of jobs and bills and deadlines makes us fight on through, but in your own time please be gentle with yourself.  If you really can't face doing something and you can put it off for a couple of days then do so.  Go to bed before nine o'clock if your body is tired, eat that bowl of pasta if that is what you crave.  Ground yourself regularly, be in nature as often as you can but at least once a day for as long as possible.  Eat regularly and keep yourself hydrated.

When I am this bad I cannot burn incense or essential oils, they make my headache worse.  Scented candles are bearable however, and so I use them to burn away the negativity.  We are also in mercury retrograde, and so I am biting my tongue again and again because the pain makes me short tempered and there are so many stupid people in the world sometimes.  I know this version is not the real me, and I refuse to allow this mean alter-ego to ride the pain and lash out and cause the real me to be judged for things she never said.

The trouble is I can't help wondering if I'm this bad on Thursday, what will I be like by Sunday?  But then there is also a part of me that longs to get away from the housing where there's no light pollution and try and see this wonder of nature, even if it is a massive pain in the head.

Best of health everyone.

Blessed be )0(