Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Coming Out Of The Broomcloset; Part 2

If you missed part one, please click here.

One moment of clarity; one moment where my head went silent, and I knew I was on the right path at last.  Still, telling everyone would be weird.  Would they understand?  Would they laugh?  Although my parents always said we could talk to them about anything, it was still a big thing to discuss with them.

I'd always been fascinated by witches and tarot.  The witch thing has been around as long as I can remember.  As a child I loved the difference between the stereotypical witch, the hooked nose, black clothes, the cat and the cauldron, and the social reality of the witch as wise woman, midwife, doctor and a member of the community.  The tarot fascination I can pinpoint to a precise moment.  Tying in with the love of all things "witchy" I was deeply curious about fortune telling, as I thought of it.  Part of that was the tarot.  I remember a daytrip to London when I was about 12 or 13.  We went to "The London Dungeon" and in the gift shop they had tarot cards.  I remember standing staring at the display case, wishing I had the courage to buy a pack as my souvenir.  As it turns out, I didn't get the courage to buy a tarot set until I was at university.  I don't remember where I got them from, but I was daunted by all the information I had to learn. Luckily, my instinct lead me and I found I had an aptitude for the cards.  My mum found them one day, asked where I'd got them from, how long I'd had them.  She didn't make a fuss but warned me to trust my instinct; if something felt wrong I was to think again.  She also warned me off ouija boards citing a childhood experience at her great grandmother's home that proved they worked if you know how to use them, but that's a whole different blog :)

I guess what I'm saying is, the signs were there from childhood that I was attracted to this way of life.  My dad has always been a keen gardener and taught me to respect nature, and through his guidance I understood how the cycle of nature influenced the food we ate, and how by looking after Mother Nature, She will look after you.  Avoid pesticides because they kill the good insects as well as the bad; don't take more than you need and always give something back.  My mum understood the spiritual side.  In fact, she bought me another set of tarot cards for my birthday when I found myself single after all those years; she understood this was a path I needed to travel.  My brothers just accepted it, it was never an issue.

Then I met someone, someone my instinct told me was going to be a vital part of my life.  We had been friends for a year before dating, and he totally accepted that I had a crystal ball under cover in my lounge, and I laid out a feast for lost loved ones while everybody else was celebrating Halloween. I've explained my beliefs, and he loved me for it.  He bought me my Book of Shadows, and my cauldron.

Do I tell everyone?  No.  If I'm asked I'm happy to discuss my beliefs/faith/lifestyle, call it what you will, but instinct tells you some people will accept it easier than others.  Besides, is it anybody else's business what I believe?  But I'm not ashamed of my involvement in the Craft, and I know this journey is making me a better version of myself.  I am very lucky that all the people I care about the most are more than happy to hold my hand along the way.